Sorry seems to be the hardest word..

Let me take you on a journey to a place of wonder a long time ago. Well Hockley, last month, but whatever. Firstly we have someone who I will call Simon Harris, for that is his name, well the name everyone uses to his face anyway. Picture the scene, it’s May 7th 2026 and the public gets to vote on what political party they hate the least. Simon was all about the Tories as already evidenced in this blog and all over his Facebook page..

The following screenshots have been borrowed on a permanent basis from the Convent of Our Ladies of Tattle.

This is the first one, this was posted on the 7th May, Simon loves gossip, hates gossip sites though. Notice how he yaps on about how it’s a concern because it’s one that he has been vocal about, nobody cares about what you write Simon, you are lower down on the blogging totem pole than I am. He could have just left it instead of gossiping, but he just loves to cause trouble and stir shit.

That’s shocking! Simon Harris gossiping negatively about a Lib Dem candidate. Who’d have thought it? Given that he hates them the most out of everyone he hates, and he hates a lot of people.

So fast forward until a few days ago when the victim of the smear campaign posted in his defence, it’s long:

It’s long but when someone is falsely accused it is very important their voice is heard.

Now i’ve written a lot of things about a lot of people, some of whom are rich. To make sure I didn’t end up in court i’ve stuck to only posting two types of things, those which are true and those which are my opinion. I’ve always pictured myself in court giving evidence about what i’ve written. It’s always passed the test. Judges/Magistrates or whatever can tell when someone is lying, they are experts in it, so I don’t make stuff up. I also only write about stuff that I know happened or is written down so there is proof. I’m not saying I haven’t gotten scared before regarding someone i’ve written about, I have. I had warnings from people but that made me want to write it even more. I also brought a ring doorbell, but i’m not scared about being taken to court for defamation as i’ve never done that.

This was Simon’s initial and very lengthy response to that:

Simon’s posts always go on for years, I apologise.

I was married for 17 years so I speak fluent bullshit and i’m in a good position to understand Simon’s posts more than most, that said, I still don’t understand all of them.

What Simon is saying here is that he basically doesn’t care because the Lib Dems were big meanies to him in a leaflet. Simon, GET OVER IT! I’m literally shouting at my laptop in the same way people were literally dancing in the street over Lineker doing whatever. It’s not meaningful in any way. especially as it’s not going to make a difference to your career, which you don’t have.

You have admitted in that rant that 30% of the money given to you by ECC for work that was equivalent to what a data entry clerk does, came from Essex County Council money that wasn’t ringfenced and therefore could have been spent on things for the residents, like SEND, or potholes, or getting decent staff. That’s £125k that was paid for your data entry skills that could have been spent on a social workers wages, or SEND, or fixing potholes, or, well anything would have been a better way to spend it than giving it to you.

The contracts were not solid contracts, there was hardly anything in them, just that you were given huge amounts of money, no timescales, nothing about what you would be doing, there is absolutely nothing in writing. Some of the contracts for others were verbal, and i’m guessing that the parts of your contracts where things like timescales and what needed to be completed were also verbal given they are not written into the contracts. I have never seen contracts that bad in my life. Anyone with anything to do with ECC is well within their rights to call those contracts dubious or dodgy or whatever. They were. You were given £500k by ECC and there is nothing to show what it was for and if you actually completed timescales or tasks. We don’t even know how many hours you put into what. When you were interviewed by A Different Bias you indicated that you didn’t work full time on the projects.

The contract for the veterans page. It’s just about how much you were getting, nothing else. You got away with keeping that money because the contract was dodgy, it didn’t have anything of any use on it, what you had to do, what goals you had to accomplish, even what you had to do. It was nothing more than an overblown receipt for huge amounts of money. Yes I am angry, and yes I am entitled to feel angry, both at what happened and your actions since.

Do what I do and imagine we are arguing about this in court in front of a judge. Imagine if I said exactly what the Lib Dems said. What i’ve just said about your contracts and your work is fair, it’s my opinion and is also based on facts. I’ve been in court, the truth is always obvious to the judge.

Your work was dubious. In front of a judge i’d argue that you were not much more than a data entry clerk, copy and pasting content from one medium onto Facebook, anyone could do that, and that you got paid so much money for work that I could have done is dubious.

As for the NIHR or whatever it was where they said the whole project was brilliant, all of the information they had was given to them by ECC, it’s like marking your own homework. They didn’t study it in as much as they took the information that you all gave them and made a series of conclusions from that information. The interviews are a joke. It’s bullshit. I would feel confident arguing why I think it’s bullshit in front of a judge. When I forgot what the study was called I went and looked it up and read a chunk of it. It needs it’s own blog post which I will do tomorrow so i’ll actually do it next week.

With all these things considered, you were a Covid profiteer, which is something that just now popped into my head as a totally unique thought and not swiped from someone on Tattle. You grabbed some of that covid cash when both the government and local government were handing it out like it was nothing because nobody knew what was going on and all of the normal checks weren’t being done.

I cannot quite understand the level of narcissism that your level of denial requires. You were overpaid and you underdelivered. The contracts weren’t worth the paper they were written on, the whole project didn’t change anything to do with how people acted during the pandemic. It was a waste of public money that could have been put to better use. It doesn’t matter if 70% was ringfenced for public health, it could still have been used on something much more effective than Facebook.

I’m usually all about people going against the crowd and doing something different, but in your case Simon you are going against the facts of the matter.

Then Simon finally did it and wrote a proper apology:

I have given many apologies, I have received many apologies, i’ve never seen one like that. It starts with Simon telling us what a great person he is by holding himself to a higher standard and apologising. The time for apologies was a month ago, or even a few days ago when he wrote that huge post saying, well whatever it was he was trying to say.

Let’s go back to the post 3 days ago:

I guess a lot can change in 3 days, nothing to do with legal action of course. 3 days ago he’d had one meeting with Richard Pryor, now he’s had many informal conversations over coffee with him. That’s a busy couple of days of coffee drinking he’s had.

I received a written apology from a professional a few years ago that I read and then threw away. I knew it wasn’t sincere but the apology legally still counts as an apology. I knew it was the best I was ever going to get.

That said, it helps clear someone’s name although far too late. The reason the Lib Dems won’t investigate about the leaflet is because there is nothing to investigate. They didn’t defame you Simon, they were just saying what happened.

If £15k for setting up a Facebook page with no content on it isn’t dubious then I don’t know what is.

Where do you go from here? Your social media career is dead in the water, you have two clients at the moment and unlikely to get anymore. Your Twitter career is in the toilet. What’s next? Fantasising about going uber viral with your latest zinger isn’t going to get you anywhere. Fantasising that anyone who says anything negative about you will get arrested and sent to prison for eleventy billion years isn’t going to get arrested. Fantasising that somehow you will be the one to get Tattle shut down isn’t going to get you anywhere. You need a plan, not for vanquishing your enemies, that isn’t going to happen, but a plan on what you are going to do for income,

Of course everything everyone says to you falls on deaf ears, everyone who criticises you is wrong and you are the only one who is right. That’s narcissism right there, and we’ve all seen the playing the victim that you do. Stop repeating the same things and expecting them to work. Go do something new and inspired, You want fame? Go do some stupid charity stunt, sign up for the London Marathon next year. Do the whole training for the marathon content and show the world you can actually do something. It’s a cracking idea, weightloss and fitness gets a lot of clicks, showing weightloss and fitness gains over the course of 10 months in order to run a marathon would be crazy. You’d likely get a lot of local press as well.

Of course something like that won’t happen. All of your foes will be vanquished instead and Tattle will be left with no other choice than to close and all the other influencers will crown you as their king and you will end up as Prime Minister.

Now to end this blog post. You know how Simon is very vocal about bad parking around schools and he’d never ever ever do it? You are not going to believe this, but he has, I was so shocked I had to lay down in a cold and dark room for 3 days. Also the screenshots above are different sizes, it’s too hot to fix them.